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Revisionist Anglican Priest gives up swearing for Lent

Progressive Anglican Priest, the Rev Chad Smiley announced to his stunned congregation at today’s Ash Wednesday Service that for the next forty Days he will no longer use foul language. Fr Chad was heard to have said:

I decided to actually read the Christian Scriptures today and I randomly turned to Ephesians 4:29 where some man named Paul wrote, “29 Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.” Since it is Lent I thought that I should give up my swearing for the next forty days since it is fitting for this Lenten occasion”.

He went on to reassure his very small congregation that his literal hermeneutic and doctrinaire attitude was only temporary and that after the forty days had ended, he would revert back to his usual practice of swearing, cussing and the general use of foul language and saying:

“A person can be genuinely Christian and on a personal faith journey without their narrative being based upon external authority. Our faith should be modern and progressive and that should be reflected linguistically by the language that we use”.

A small concerned minority in Fr Chad’s parish asked the obvious questions, “Since when is piety to Christ part-time? Since when is obeying Scripture limited to forty days out of three hundred and sixty-five?” So concerned were they that they contacted their Revisionist bishop and asked him those two questions, who promptly told them to “get stuffed”.

Giving up swearing was apparently not part of his Lenten discipline this year.

 

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Latest Email From The Global Anglican Integrity Commission

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Today I received an email today from the GAIC, which stands for the Global Anglican Integrity Commission.

To: bishops@anglican.org

Cc: priests@anglican.org

Bcc: deacons@anglican.org

Subject: 2019 Recent Developments in the Anglican Church of Australia

Dear Anglican clergy,

Here is the 2019 encouragement to all Anglican clergy. Sorry it has taken so long to send out this year’s email. We have been so snowed under here of late with many cases on our desk. 

Blessings

GAIC (Global Anglican Integrity Commission)

Beloved Bishops,  

Well, another year! Another year given to us by Our Great God! Another year of opportunity for you to be faithful in prayer, diligent in the study of the Holy Scriptures so that you may be equipped to teach and encourage, and another year to proclaim to the gospel to all. Sadly it is also another year where you will have correct and set aside teaching that is contrary to the mind of Christ, both privately and publicly, urging all to live according to God’s Word.

Another year…where each day you will put aside all ungodly and worldly behaviour, and live modestly, in justice and godliness, so that by your life and example you may commend Christ’s truth. We want you to be encouraged! You have God’s Word. You know that you are not unequipped for this task. Remember at your ordination Bishops, you said you are convinced:

that the Holy Scriptures contain all doctrine necessary for eternal salvation through faith in Jesus Christ and that with God’s help you will instruct from them the people committed to your care, teaching nothing as essential to salvation which cannot be demonstrated from the Scriptures.

Here at The GAIC, we know full well the gravity of this responsibility that is placed in your care, however be encouraged! Remember God has revealed his truth to you, which you firmly and sincerely believe. Remember you said:

I firmly and sincerely believe the Catholic Faith and I give my assent to the doctrine of the Anglican Church (insert province) as expressed in the Thirty-Nine Articles of Religion, The Book of Common Prayer, and the Ordering of Bishops, Priests and Deacons: I believe that doctrine to be agreeable to the Word of God;

Another year…

Beloved Priests,

Well another year…to live and work as a priest, pastor and teacher for God’s glory and the strengthening of God’s people, of taking up your calling with dedication and joy, of proclaiming the gospel of Jesus Christ, seeking the lost, announcing God’s justice.

Sadly as you know, Scripture tells us that in these last days many will set aside healthy doctrine and will turn to myths, so it will be another year of warning and correcting those in error. But we know that you are ready to do this because at your ordination you said you will by God’s grace:

both in your public and private ministry oppose and set aside teaching that is contrary to God’s Word.

But keep on encouraged and building up the body of Christ, preach the Word of God, lead God’s people in prayer, declare God’s forgiveness and blessing.

Another year of pastoring after the pattern of Christ the great Shepherd. So be a teacher by the Lord in wisdom and holiness. Lead the people of God as a servant of Christ. Love and serve the people with whom you work, caring alike for young and old, rich and poor, weak and strong.

Another year of studying the Scriptures wholeheartedly, reflecting with God’s people upon their meaning, so that your ministry and life may be shaped by Christ.

We understand how great a treasure has been placed in your care and we both know that you will be called to give an account before Jesus Christ. But be encouraged! You have openly declared your conviction that the Holy Scriptures contain all doctrine necessary for eternal salvation through faith in Jesus Christ, and you have also declared your determination to instruct from these Scriptures the people committed to your care, teaching nothing as essential to salvation which cannot be demonstrated from the Scriptures.

Another year…unknown

Beloved Deacons,

Well another year…to live and work as a deacon, to serve as an ambassador for Christ, serving God and others, proclaiming the good news of Jesus’ love., to encourage the members of Christ’s body by word and example, to preach the Word of God in the place to which you are licensed.

We understand the responsibility placed on you dear deacons. After all, you are to model your life according to the Word of God, study the Scriptures, reflecting with God’s people upon their meaning., that all may be equipped to live out GOd’s truth in the world. But be encouraged! You have God’s Word, which you have stated publicly at your ordination that you:

accept the canonical Scriptures of the Old and New Testaments, as given by the Spirit to convey in many and varied ways the revelation of God which is fulfilled in our Lord Jesus Christ.

Another year…another year to live out the convictions, oaths, and promises that you made at your ordination.

Blessings

GAIC (Global Anglican Integrity Commission)