Encouragement

Dying Well

Recently I was given two reminders of the reality of my own impending death. I say impending, because I have a disease that will at some place, at some time, in some way, do what God did not intend – separate my spirit from my body. This disease is known as mortality, and the cause of it is sin. And while I am so thankful to God for his amazing grace in the Lord Jesus, that my eternal future is secure, these reminders were powerful none the less.

The first reminder was a funeral that I did. It was for a 96 year old woman. The second was watching one of the last vlog posts of Nabeel Qureshi, who entered into the joy of his master, Jesus Christ, after enduring a year-long battle with cancer.

It has given me pause to ponder the questions:

How do I die well? What does it mean to do well?

I remember hearing of a Bishop’s wife who was at a women’s prayer meeting and the women were praying for a Christian woman who has a terminal illness. After many ask God to comfort her and to heal her and to give the doctors wisdom as they treat her, she asked God to enable her to ‘die well’.

There was some disquiet amongst the prayer meeting, how could she be so insensitive? How could she even mention the ‘D’ word? How could she give up hope?

Yet I believe these questions say more about the problem in Australian culture (in fact I would say the problem with Western culture) than it does with the Bishop’s wife’s prayer.

The problem that was highlighted to by Assoc. Prof. Richard Chye, who is the Director of Palliative Care at Sacred Heart Hospice in Sydney, who in the SBS 3 Part Documentary in which three terminally ill people talk about Living the End said this (at the 22:30 mark of the vid)

Culturally I don’t thing we deal with dying well…even more so now with the westernisation of our culture has put death into a much more secretive too hard basket…and we drammatise dying as being something that does not happen often”.

From my observations, I believe our culture dramatises dying as if it won’t happen at all. We live as if life is permanent; as if we won’t die, and if we ignore it, deny it, then someone how, some way, death will pass us by. We never see it and this is deliberate. If we are honest death frightens us, it puzzles us, it angers us, it confuses us and it hurts us.

Christians are not immune from death, Christians acquire the same illnesses as the non-Christian, Christians are killed from accidents and mishaps just as the non-Christian is.

However observing the responses from the prayer meeting and the request to God that a fellow believer die well, is it possible that us Christians in the west also don’t deal with dying well?

Why is this the case? Here are thoughts I have:

We imbibe this world– We all know the story about the frog in the pot – the theory goes that if you place a frog in boiling water it will immediately jump out, but if you place a frog in warm water and slowly bring it to the boil it will die. The reason is that the frog does is so immersed in the warmth of the water and comfortable it does notice the changes, changes that will lead to its demise. We live in the pot of this world, and swim in the water of our culture, we feel the pull and currents of the various loves, passions, pleasures and morés of our culture. And therein lies the danger, if we are not discerning, if we don’t critique our world in light of the Scriptures, we don’t notice that we change with the culture, we become like our culture and we like our culture…and we dislike those things our culture dislikes…things such as death, the use of the D word, so we end up ignoring death also, not thinking about it and become offended when a fellow Christian prays for that another Christian will die well.

Our grip on this world is too tight – There is Christian singer named Colin Buchanan. He writes very funny and entertaining songs for children, but they are songs that are packed with the Scriptures and good theology. In one of the songs the chorus goes: “Passing through, passing through, on the way to heaven. Don’t let this old world get its group on you. God’s children are only passing through”. Although I agree with Colin, perhaps one of the reasons we baulk at thinking about what it means to die well, is because we grip onto the world so tightly that we see Heaven as the consolation prize, and this life is the main thing and as a result don’t see as ourselves as temporary residents on this world.

We are vague about what happens when we die – We tell our children that when we die we go to Heaven. Which of course is right and proper, but as adults we become vague on the details. We don’t notice what the Scriptures says about Hades/the place of interval, we don’t think about the fact that Heaven is our final destination, that Heaven will be on a redeemed earth where our bodies and spirits are reunited into a perfect resurrected body. We don’t think about the end times, and perhaps have a panmillenial approach to Jesus’ return (i.e “Who cares about the details, God has it sorted, it will all pan out in the end”). Vagueness I think can lead to uncertainty, which can lead to doubt, which can turn into fear, a fear that feeds our culture’s fear of death, of talking about death, which prevents us from dying well.

Compartmentalisation – So we compartmentalise dying from our thoughts, and heaven, we reserve heaven to being that place we go to when we die (which hopefully will not happen for a very very very very long time), so I can get on with living my life now, enjoying my family, church, work, etc now.

So what does it mean to die well?

Dying well means dying:

Full of faith – Hebrews defines faith as “the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen”. (Heb 1:1). The Christian’s faith is not an empty faith, not wishful thinking, but is a faith based on real promises, fulfilled in the real death and real resurrection  of the real saviour the Lord Jesus Christ, who has conquered the death and is preparing the place for us that we can never prepare for ourselves (John 14:1-6). This same Jesus who is the first fruits of the resurrection, who will then in turn resurrect our bodies when he begins his millennial reign! (1 Corinthians 15:20-24). Of course, like the rest of humanity, I do not know when and how I will die, but I do know that I want to be full of this sort of faith when I do, and it is my prayer that I will.

Full of thanksgiving – There is always something about living in this world that leaves us unsatisfied, it does not matter how much money we have, or have had, how successful we have been in our career, or in our families, or our marriage. There is something about living in this world that leaves us wanting it – it…that something more….that something that will satisfy us perfectly and permanently…that it, is the world that we are made for. We will never be fully at home in this world. Our world is a pale reflection of what is waiting for us.  The author C. S Lewis knew this about the human condition and wrote these words:

“If I find in myself desires which nothing in this world can satisfy, the only logical explanation is that I was made for another world.” 

Why do we not feel at home here? It is because Heaven is our ultimate destination. We are made by God and for God, and to abide with God. We have an eternal longing for our eternal home. C.S Lewis also wrote:

 “Do fish complain of the sea for being wet? Of if they did, would that fact itself not strongly suggest that they had not always been, or would not always be, purely aquatic creatures?                                                                                                                  

The Church Father Augustine knew well that all of us are made for God and he wrotes these words:

 “You have made us for yourself, and our hearts are restless, until they can find rest in you.”                                                                                               

So our most profound fulfilment, completion and joy cannot be found on this world. Each day of life is one day closer to that most profound fulfilment, completion and joy and all this because the grace of God found in the Lord Jesus, that he has redeemed us, justified us. This is something that should fill us with thanksgiving! Dying often gives opportunity to reflect back on one’s life. There are many things that the Christian can be thankful to God for, not only our salvation, but for family, for those who brought us to Christ, for opportunities to tell others of Christ, for all the good gifts that God gave us for our enjoyment in this life.

Full of Prayer – Dying is the final time God’s people have to speak with God through the eyes of faith, that is to speak with him before we see him. I like to think that dying well means dying with a prayerful heart. Thanking God, praising God, asking for forgiveness for leaving undone those things in our lives that we out to have done, and for things we have done that ought not to have done. Committing to God those we are leaving behind, praying for unbelievers that we know, perhaps even hospital staff (if that is we are when we are dying).

Full of excitement – Each day of life brings us closer to being with the Lord Jesus where we will no longer battle with temptation, with sin, the world, the flesh and the devil. The act of dying brings this reality home for us. We have nearly arrived. When we die we will be the Lord, and although not in body (that will happen when He returns). But we will be with the Lord Jesus Christ and enjoy beautiful fellowship with him and all of God’s people, including all those great saints of the past and Christians whom we have known and loved who are already there. We will be with Abraham (Luke 16) – we will meet all the people of faith, including the Apostle Paul. For this is the King’s garden party. Angels will also be there. If you die alone, or unwanted or uncared for, or in a tragic accident, God has his angels waiting for you on the other side to care for us! It is wonderful! (Luke 16:22). This is why Paul says, he longs to depart. We will be with Jesus the moment we die. What the Lord Jesus said to the thief on the cross ,“Today you will be with me in paradise”, will be our experience too! And while we are there, we will have that indescribable expectation of knowing that there is even better still to come, when the Lord Jesus will resurrect our bodies at his return and we will meet all God’s people in the air as Christ begins his reign. This is something to be excited about!

So how can we die this way, full of faith, thanksgiving, prayer and excitement – to die well?

Pray – Pray that God by his Holy Spirit will enable us to die well. Contrary to popular belief, dying is not natural. We are not meant to die. The separation of our souls from our bodies is not natural. Physical death is due to sin and no human being is shielded from sin’s physical consequences. So it makes sense I think to conclude that if dying is not natural then dying well is not humanly possible. It is not a human trait. But the good news is that the ability to die well is a divine quality. We can die well, because of the presence, power and enabling of the Holy Spirit, who remember indwells us and is a guarantee of what is coming!

Walk with the Lord – Read God’s Word, really read it, inwardly digest it, cherish it, make it the normal part of your life, so much so that a day without reading God’s Word feels like a very weird and strange and odd day. Pray, (I know I just mentioned this above), but pray daily in your life. I use the BCP daily, and I like to think that if God’ grants me long life, yet I lose my memory, that I will still remember the wonderful prayers of Cranmer and will pray the prayers of Cranmer! Walk with the Lord, praying that your life will be one that is full of faith, thanksgiving, prayer and excitement.

I have heard many people who work with the dying say that people often die the way they have lived. So for the Christian, if one lives well (as the God defines living well), they will most likely die well and I think that is the heart of it.

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Rejecting Same Sex Marriage Isn’t Bigotry

Here in the country where I was born and raised (Australia) every citizen who is eligible to vote (who is on the electoral role) will be asked, via a voluntary postal vote, whether the definition of marriage should be changed.

Amongst other things the Marriage Act currently:

  • sets the marriageable age and allows the marriage of minors in certain circumstances
  • establishes the framework for marriage ceremonies. Parties can marry in public or private, provided there is an official celebrant and two witnesses to the declarations between the parties. Particular words are prescribed for marriages solemnised by civil celebrants which reflect the understanding of marriage in Australian law. Religions which have been recognised as requiring monogamy and permanency as promises of marriage are permitted to use their own ceremony.
  • establishes the framework of the regulation of authorised marriage celebrants (both religious and non-religious)
  • deals with issues of consent, void marriages and legitimacy of children
  • creates offences relating to bigamy, under-age marriages, and marriages not performed according to the required notice periods etc
  • defines marriage to mean ‘the union of a man and a woman to the exclusion of all others, voluntarily entered into for life

The change proposed is due to the last point and if it does occur then two persons of the same gender can be married and their marriage will be legally recognised.

From what I have observed from much of the writing and articles of those who are advocates of this change, there appears to be a prevailing paradigm that is being put forward, a paradigm that states:

Those who will vote ‘yes’ – who desire a change to the definition of marriage, will do so because:
1. They are tolerant.
2. They are loving.
3. They are accepting (of Gays & Lesbians).
4. They are informed

Those who will vote ‘no’ – who want the definition of marriage to remain unchanged, will do so because:
1. They are bigoted.
2. They are haters.
3. They are homophobic.
4. They are stuck in the past

The problem with this paradigm is that it does not even allow for the possibility that there are those who believe and uphold to the traditional view of marriage, who will vote ‘no’ who are
1. Not bigoted;
2. Not haters (of the LBGTI community);
3. Not homophobic.
4. Who are informed and not stuck in the past.

My encouragement to all Christians as they prayerfully vote is to remember that our Lord Jesus Christ is our model, and the Lord is very clear about what marriage is and what marriage is not. In the Gospel of St Matthew chapter 19:1-6, the Lord Jesus reinforces to his disciples that marriage originates with God, that the essence of marriage is in the union of a man and a woman. (See Mark 10:1-9 also).

Now when Jesus had finished these sayings, he went away from Galilee and entered the region of Judea beyond the Jordan. And large crowds followed him, and he healed them there.And Pharisees came up to him and tested him by asking, “Is it lawful to divorce one’s wife for any cause?” He answered, “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” (ESV)

It is also equally clear from the Gospels that our Lord Jesus Christ was not bigoted, loved all people, was not homophobic, nor stuck in the past.

Thus the affirmation of marriage being between a man and woman and the subsequent rejection of same sex marriage is not due to hatred, bigotry, ignorance or homophobia, but is consistent with the Holy Scriptures, with the Lord Jesus Christ and also includes acknowledgment that marriage as God defines it, is the best structure for society and for the procreation and raising of children in the secure nurturing wedlock of a mother and a father.

In the vote I will be voting “No” to Same Sex marriage for the above reasons and my humble counsel and encouragement to all Christians is to do the same, remembering that the Lord Jesus Christ is our model in both what we believe and how we conduct ourselves.

Praying For the Lost

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When I was in year 11, a lot of my mates at school used to try to get into pubs under-age. Many of them could do it. Yet I saw no point, not only because I did not drink; but also when I was 17 I looked like I was about 12 and found pubs to be very intimidating and scary places at the bet of times. But on my 18th birthday, I went around to see my older brother and he took me to his local pub in Rozelle, a suburb of Sydney, called The Three Weeds. I particularly remember excusing myself to go to the men’s room and whilst there, unbeknownst to me, my brother had told the entire front bar that his little brother had just turned 18. When I came out, all the patrons sang happy birthday to me and I was given my first drink, a complimentary shot of something called Tequila. (They may as well have given me a shot of Detol!)

The reason I tell this story is that I recall afterwards thinking about the sort of people who were at this pub, they were very different to the sort of people whom I normally mixed with, and not the sort whom I mixed with at the Anglican Church I attended. To my shame I remember despairing and thinking to myself, “as if anyone in that pub would ever become a Christian”. Yet the reason for my despair was due to my thinking evangelism and bringing people to faith in Christ is a merely human endeavour.

This sort of thinking I believe can and will lead us to one of two equal and opposite errors, the first of which I fell into:

  1. Despair – due to thinking that a person’s salvation is all up to us. So when people don’t come to faith we therefore deem our evangelistic efforts to be futile and that we are useless in regards to the extension of God’s Kingdom.
  1. Pride – due to thinking that a person’s salvation is up to us. So when people do come to faith we therefore deem our evangelistic efforts to be successful and that we are rather amazing in regards to the extension of God’s Kingdom.

Yet from the Scriptures we see very clearly that God is the One, and the Only One who brings people to faith in Christ. Have a look at 1 Corinthians 3:5-7:

            [5] What then is Apollos? What is Paul? Servants through whom you believed, as the Lord assigned to each. [6] I planted, Apollos watered, but God gave the growth. [7] So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God who gives the growth.

From this passage we see that:

  • God gives the gives the growth – It is God who changes people’s hearts;God is the one who brings people to him, God is the one who saves.
  • The Apostles were obedient in proclaiming the Gospel of the Lord Jesus Christ (i.e. planting and watering), but they also know that they could not raise the spiritually dead and could not give sight to the spiritually blind. Only the Great Evangelist, God the Holy Spirit can do this.

This is why prayer for the lost is so important. Firstly: it serves to protect us and rescue us from falling into one of these two errors. Secondly: when we pray for the lost, we are asking God to do what we cannot. Just like the Apostles, we cannot raise the spiritually dead nor can we give sight to the spiritually blind. Only God can do this.

So here are some things I hope in the Lord Jesus may be of some service to you when it comes to praying for the lost:

  1. Pray for love – that God will give you a real heart felt love for the lost
  1. Pray for intentionality – that God will enable you to go out and meet the lost (whether it be at the Golf club, in the shed, in the field, at the school gate, at the shopping queue), and befriend the lost
  1. Pray for conviction – that God will convict you of the plight and final destiny of the lost
  1. Pray for opportunities to give a reason for the hope you profess – and take them when they inevitably come.
  1. Pray for boldness & courage – in making opportunities to proclaim the lost.
  1. Pray for wisdom – to say the right thing at the right time and in the right way. 
  1. Pray for unbelievers – the Saul’s that you know, the doubters, the curious, the indifferent. Pray that God will do only what He can do.
  1. Commit 2 Cor.4:7 to memory –

[7] But we have this treasure in jars of clay,

to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us.

What a great reminder this is for us when it comes to praying for the lost and when it comes to evangelism! The Treasure is the Gospel of the Lord Jesus Christ, it is a treasure of infinite worth.We have this treasure! You have this treasure

We are the jars of clay. Not exactly, the most flattering of descriptions, of you and me, not very complimentary is it? It indicates that we are frail and easily broken, and fragile. We are all jars of clay. Yet God uses us Jars of clay and the reason God uses broken vessels is to show that the power to save is God’s and not us. You don’t have to ‘be a Chappo’ – God will use you as you are – you jar of clay you! This is always God’s Way.

I once heard the former Archbishop of Sydney Harry Goodhew tell me that Gospel ministry in Australia is like “trying to plough concrete”. And as true is that is, and as often as sharing of our faith can feel like that, God can crack the concrete surrounding the unbelieving heart. He cracked Saul’s. He cracked my heart. He can crack anyone’s! So keep praying my fellow jars!